Tea Rosarie

minxiekitten:

raubbenhood:

Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.

WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!

hurpadootdoot:

romeoisadick:

inbox:

inbox:

in Canada they don’t pronounce Z as "zee"

they pronounce it as "zed" and that is crazy to me

it sounds like they made a typo when they invented it

They do that everywhere in the world that’s not America. We do that here in the UK too.
America is weird man.

in the shower
me: that's not quite hot enough let me just turn it up to boiling lava.
me: yes good i shall bathe in the waters of mordor.
me: why do we have like 25 different kinds of shampoo?
me: i'ma read the back of this.
me: lather, rinse, repeat?
me: why do i have to repeat is your product so shitty it didn't work the first time?
me: hold the fuck up i have to write fanfic in my head real quick.
me: if water is a renewable resource does that mean every celebrity i've ever loved has showered in this same water before?
me: eheheheheheheheheheh.
me: but you didn't have to cUT ME OFF.
me: did i already wash my hair?
me: i think i did but i don't remember.
me: i'ma do it again.
me: FUCK I REPEATED.
me: well played, pantene pro-v. WELL PLAYED
me: i wonder what it's like to have sex in the shower.
me: i bet it's awkward.
me: i bet a lot of injuries happen that way.
me: okay time to get out.
me:
me:
me: where the fuck is my towel.
pros to dating me:

oxgracexo:

  • i’ll actually respond to your text
  • you can literally kiss me whenever you want (esp random neck kisses like yes please)
  • we can hold hands
  • butt touches
  • cuddles? ? ? yes good
  • i’ll play with your hair or vise versa
  • we can eat pizza togethercuddl

dragonsigma:

mediavengers:

Avengers in the headlines 20100-2011

MediAvengers is an MCU media blog.  Magazine spreads and newspaper articles made by fans, for the fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

You have no idea how much I adore fictional documents

impactprincess:

fintonmusic:

supahjewelz:

I thought we were having a moment…you ruined it

I’m crying

Omgomg

impactprincess:

fintonmusic:

supahjewelz:

I thought we were having a moment…you ruined it

I’m crying

Omgomg

pmon3y69:

drdawg:

my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories

this is me, i am pete, love me 

lezly-odair:

How I feel about religion. God should be presented as what he is, love and kindness. Stop using his name to justify your racism, homo phobia and sexism

lezly-odair:

How I feel about religion. God should be presented as what he is, love and kindness. Stop using his name to justify your racism, homo phobia and sexism

[TW: rape]

This is the rape joke:
My best friend was four years old the first time his father came into his room at midnight and tore out his throat. He still has days when I cannot hold him because the memory of a bleeding trachea haunts his doorway. He has not been home for the holidays in many years, but – even now – hands are seen as weapons.

This is the rape joke:
I have been told by more than twenty people that they have been raped. To all of them, I asked where the rapist was. From none of them, I heard ‘jail.’

This is the rape joke:
Once my brother told me that I was so ugly, I would be a virgin forever. Unless someone raped me. But even they wouldn’t come back for seconds.

This is the rape joke:
I believed him.

This is the rape joke:
I now look at every woman on the street and wonder if the space between her legs is a crime scene, surrounded by ripped caution tape. The statistics tell me that this is so common that I will never be in a room that does not contain a survivor. Not even if I am in that room alone.

This is the rape joke:
I was thirteen years old, and he was supposed to be just a friend.

This is the rape joke:
When his older brother came home, the boy pulled away. He wiped the tears from my face and said ‘we should do this again some time.’

This is the rape joke:
When I finally told my parents, they asked what I had been wearing.

This is the rape joke:
I had been wearing my innocence. My trust. I had worn the love I held for humanity and expected to be treated well. I had never been taught that I would be that girl, the one who keeps a mine of secrets between her legs – that girl was the slut. I wasn’t supposed to be breakable.
What had I been wearing? I wore the rape joke, then I became it.

This is the Rape Joke | d.a.s

After Lora Mathis’s poem “the Rape Joke

(via backshelfpoet)

mspaintadventuring:

pawtism:

helioscentrifuge:

breastforce:

imagine somebody who’s immortal having a gigantic room where all the walls are completely covered up with photos.

each one is of a different loved one whom they have outlived 

STOP RIGHT THERE

image

image

image

image

imageahhh this already has like fifty million notes but i just thought this was a really sweet idea… i didn’t get to draw the room as big as i wanted too ;_; but this is only 1/4th of that room or something!!!!

the wedding photo hurts the most

angrynerdyblogger:

pr1nceshawn:

When it comes to cooking, not everyone is at the same skill level

*gordon ramsay voice* what the fuck is this

spektrmodule:

ahodori:

blankbabe:

we are the last generation whose baby photos weren’t taken on phones

who gives a shit tho

we’re the first generation to be able to carry around a tiny magic computer in our pockets and that’s way more awesome and interesting than this sappy nostalgic bullshit go listen to records on vinyl or smt

striders:

nienafefuckass:

striders:

once a straight boy was tryina holler n he literally texted me the phrase “*turns into a wolf and snuggles your boobs*” like???? buddy you weird as fuck i wasnt interested to begin with but now im fuckin worried about you like what the hell

That’s cute. Wolf snuggles are great!

image